Day 237: Columbo, Last Salute to the Commodore

Show: Columbo

Episode Particulars: S5EP6, “Last Salute to the Commodore”, original airdate May 2^nd, 1976.

 Summary: Otis Swanson (John Dehner), a boatmaker affectionately known as “The Commodore”, is getting fed up with his son-in-law Charles (Robert Vaughn) trying to turn the business into a commodity rather than being in it for the love of sailing. After lashing out at Charles and Charles’ wife Joanna (Diane Baker), the Commodore returns to his house, where he winds up being murdered that night. While we don’t see the murder, Charles is the one we see dispose of the body and set things up to make it look like Swanson fell off his boat. Columbo, accompanied by Sergeant Kramer (Bruce Kirby) and new man Mac (Dennis Dugan), start investigating, taking Charles as the prime suspect as a matter of course. But for once, it’s a little more complicated than that.

Standalone Thoughts: I’m just going to get right to the point; this episode is kind of awful. I think it was trying to be clever and deviate from the formula, but instead we get an unfocused mess. While it is kind of interesting to not show us the actual murder and have an old-fashioned reveal scene, the way both are executed are clumsy at best. And I’ve mentioned loving reveal scenes, so the fact that I kind of hate this should tell you something.

There’s also way too much going on in this episode, most of which was unnecessary. The opening scene is far too noisy and chaotic, which may have been by design but still doesn’t make it pleasant to watch. The writing and Baker’s acting go way too far in depicting Joanna as an alcoholic. The whole thing about Columbo getting another protégé could have been interesting, but they do barely anything with it; unlike with Wilson, it’s hard to tell if Columbo resents having to have Mac around or if he’s supposed to be encouraging. Columbo himself is all over the place, sometimes really playing up the “bumbler” side of his personality to frustrating degrees, being deliberately cryptic, invading people’s personal space, and overall feeling very un-Columbo like when all is said and done. Even the cuts to commercials come at odd times and feel jarring. I don’t know who to blame for this, but I kind of feel like this is a group effort.

Finally, I’m completely baffled by the very end of the episode (don’t worry, this isn’t a spoiler). After catching the killer, Columbo has a conversation with Mac and Kramer. Mac is carrying a raincoat, and it’s implied that he’s going to be following in Columbo’s footsteps, which Columbo seems to tacitly approve of. Then he goes to Kramer and asks him for a match to light his cigar. When Kramer expresses surprise, since Columbo’s been trying to give them up, Columbo starts chuckling and repeatedly says “Not yet”, before getting into a rowboat and setting out to sea. Despite Columbo’s claim of “Not yet”, it feels like a sendoff, like Columbo’s passed the torch and is heading off into the sunset. Which makes me wonder if Falk was having a contract dispute or if the show was in danger of being cancelled. But thanks to the mixed message, it’s less a satisfying ending and more a confusing ending.

Avoid this episode at all costs. It’s a bad way to end the season, a bad way to introduce Columbo to new viewers, and overall doesn’t have anything that makes sitting through the weaker material worthwhile. It might be better to pretend there are only 68 episodes of Columbo, that’s how messy this episode is. And I think that statement kind of says it all.

Number of “Columbo-isms”: 4/6. There’s a few mentions of his wife, a scene involving the car, a whole bunch of fumbling or asking for stuff (including a bit that takes place in the car), and some whistling of “This Old Man” right at the end. In fact, the soundtrack gets in on it and does an orchestral arrangement to close out the episode. All this and there’s a running bit where Columbo’s trying to give up his cigars, although he keeps taking them out and putting them in his mouth, so it’s less a subversion and more a slight deviation from routine.

Other: *There’s a little boat early in the episode that gets used to ferry people back and forth from the mainland to the island where the Commodore stays. This boat is called Titanic. Why would anybody want to tempt fate like that, except possibly hipsters who are being ironic? And since this was before the age of hipsters, I must assume the owner/driver has a morbid sense of humor. Not exactly the greatest taste, though.

*Season wrapup: While the season wasn’t bad on the whole, it’s not particularly strong either. Most of the episodes have interesting elements but don’t always handle them very well. The season does, however, have both the best episode I’ve seen so far (“Identity Crisis”) and the worst (this one). Unfortunately, the worst episode also being the last episode does leave a bad impression and make me slightly worried about how Season Six (which is only three episodes long) is going to play out. But I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Would This Hold Up in Court?: Maybe. It’s not the greatest evidence, but it’s also fairly damning. I guess it depends how much stock the jury would put in it.