Day 248: Columbo, Sex and the Married Detective

Show: Columbo

Episode Particulars: S8EP3, “Sex and the Married Detective”, original airdate April 3^rd, 1989.

 Summary: Doctor Joan Allenby (Lindsay Crouse) is a sex therapist who’s in a pleasant relationship of her own with her business partner David Kincaid (Stephen Macht). Until she comes to the office unexpectedly one night and spots him having sex with her receptionist Cindy (Julia Montgomery). Upset and angry, Allenby purchases a new outfit, literally makes herself into a new woman (calling herself “Lisa”), and lures Kincaid back to her office by suggesting that it’s an elaborate roleplay. Then she shoots him, with the assumption that everyone will assume “Lisa” did it, and everyone will just think of Allenby as a wronged woman in more ways than one. Columbo, of course, derails that plan, though surprisingly, Allenby doesn’t try to seduce him to keep him away from the case. Apparently the power of Mrs. Columbo is stronger than I thought…

Standalone Thoughts: This is another episode where I mostly enjoyed it, despite the fact that it contains a lot of padding. We didn’t really need the scene where Columbo plays the tuba, or the scene where he’s mistaken for a bartender-in-training, and while the scene where different people in the clinic ask him for advice allows Columbo to get more information, it didn’t need to be that long. But I liked them all the same, because Falk does a great job this episode. He’s warm, friendly to everybody, and while he still seems a little awkward about discussing something as personal as sex, it’s not quite as extreme as it was in things like “Suitable for Framing” or “Lovely but Lethal”, suggesting that he’s been mellowing a bit with age. He’s a lot of fun to watch, and is probably the greatest thing about this episode.

Columbo aside, the story is entertaining, but I once again feel like there were more things that could be explored. Allenby’s monologue at the end of the episode is a good one, but I didn’t really believe it based on what we’d seen in the rest of the episode; really digging into that might have provided some good material. There’s no confrontation between Allenby and Cindy, or any followup to some of the conversations we’d seen at the beginning of the episode. And there was a fantastic opportunity for Allenby to try to turn the tables on Columbo by discussing his sex life and therefore keeping him off balance, but other than one scene early on, the subject never comes up. I would have been more than willing to trade some of the fun padding for things like that.

Still, what we do get is pretty good. The music is appropriately sensual, if a bit on the nose, the acting is good overall, and it generally had a more relaxed vibe than either of the other two 1989 episodes. If you wanted an episode to transition from the older episodes to the newer ones, this one might be a good contender. As long as you didn’t mind the somewhat risqué subject material, that is.

Number of “Columbo-isms”: 4/6, although some of them aren’t quite as I’d expected. While we never see Columbo in it, we do see the car in the background several times. His wife is mentioned, but she doesn’t come up as many times as I would have thought, considering the title of the episode. There’s several “Just one more things”, including a literal one and two instances when others say it to Columbo. About the only one that’s normal is the fumbling. I’m also disappointed that they didn’t take advantage of Columbo playing the tuba to sneak a “This Old Man” in there, but you can’t have everything, I guess.

Other: *One of Allenby’s fellow therapists is a man named Walter Neff (Ken Lerner). This is obviously a reference to the man of the same name from Double Indemnity, but I have no earthly clue why they’d be paying homage to that character, since this story has nothing to do with insurance or a murderous couple. Maybe they were trying to draw a parallel between Allenby and Phyllis Dietrichson, but it’s a very tenuous connection. Instead of being clever, it just wound up being distracting.

*Speaking of odd references, there’s a moment where Columbo, on the ground floor of a music hall, is discussing the mysterious woman in black with one of his subordinates (Stewart J. Zully), who’s standing higher up on the staircase. As they’re shouting back and forth, two musicians are climbing up the stairs, and when they hear about the woman in black, they abruptly turn around and head straight back down the stairs again. This isn’t just in the background; the camera actually lingers on them. It feels like this was a reference to something (Laurel and Hardy sprang to mind for some reason), but I have no earthly idea what it could be. I’d be grateful for anyone who could shed some light on this.

*According to Allenby, a courtesan is a “successful prostitute”. This caused me to raise an eyebrow, because while she’s technically correct, the way I’ve heard the term used is a little more nuanced than that. I’ve always thought of a courtesan as a woman, generally from the 1800’s, who was beautiful, intelligent, comfortable in high society, and at least somewhat sexually talented, who was her own boss and could therefore get exorbitant sums or presents out of her lovers. The official definition I got off Google (“A prostitute, especially one with wealthy or upper-class clients”) seems to bear me out. I wouldn’t harp on this if it wasn’t for the fact that as a sex therapist who has written a book entitled The Courtesan Complex, Allenby should know better. Or at the very least, the people who wrote this episode should know better.

Would This Hold Up in Court?: Considering I’m not entirely sure what evidence Columbo has, I’m going to say no. Oh, he’s got some eyewitness testimony and a few little pieces of evidence (one of which may not have been obtained under a search warrant, but there’s a grey area on that one), but that’s all circumstantial evidence that might add up to something, not anything concrete. Also, he kind of tricked Allenby, and I tend to consider that a no-no. But as I established way back at the beginning of my Columbo reviews, I don’t know whether or not that sort of thing is accepted as evidence, so opinions may vary on that one.