Day 249: Columbo, Grand Deceptions

Show: Columbo

Episode Particulars: S8EP4, “Grand Deceptions”, original airdate May 1^st, 1989.

 Summary: Former military man Frank Brailie (Robert Foxworth) now works for a combination civilian training course/think tank that’s kind of led by the legendary General Padget (Stephen Elliot). Wanting more than his fair share, Brailie has not only been using funds from the organization to do some shady things, but he’s also been sleeping with the General’s much younger wife, Jenny (Janet Eilber). When his old friend and subordinate Lester Keegan (Andy Romano) finds out about this and tries to blackmail Brailie, Brailie responds by stabbing him and making it look like he was accidentally blown up during the final exam for the training course. As usual, though, Columbo doesn’t exactly buy that explanation.

Standalone Thoughts: Overall, I’d say this is a pretty forgettable episode. I certainly had no memory of it when I sat down to rewatch it, and I’m guessing it’s going to fade from my memory again just as quickly this time around. If I had to guess why, I’d say it’s because the episode has no particularly memorable scenes, and the rest of the content isn’t very strong.

I think the problem is twofold. If you’re just looking at the episode on the surface, it kind of seems like a copy of previous Columbo episodes, notably “By Dawn’s Early Light” with the military aspect (plus the fact that it feels like Foxworth is channeling McGoohan’s character in some places) and any story that involved embezzling from a company. If you dig a little deeper, though, the problem is that a lot of people make stupid decisions. Brailie makes the mistake of not disposing of all the evidence, so that it’s conveniently lying around for Columbo to find. Out of universe, the filmmakers don’t do a very good job of explaining how the think tank and the military training course are related; sure, one pays for the other, but it really does feel like two separate things. Even Columbo’s not immune from making mistakes, when he and another character keep changing positions to talk to each other about something related to the case…while they’re in a church. During a funeral. In full sight of Brailie. Unless the goal was to make Brailie nervous and therefore do something to give the game away (which doesn’t seem likely, given how Columbo catches him), all this is doing is alerting Brailie to the fact that something’s going on, and also disturbing the innocent bystanders. Is there a reason this exchange couldn’t have taken place outside the church? Or was this a misguided attempt at comedy? If it’s the latter, then I’d definitely have to say that it fell flat.

As with most things, though, it’s not all bad. The interactions between Columbo and General Padget are nice, and the final shot, while making absolutely no sense in-universe, is still a funny little beat for the audience. But obviously, it’s not enough to make up for the odd decisions and general blah-ness of the whole thing. I’m not entirely sure what could have been done to make it stronger—maybe a few more character beats for Columbo so things felt a little less serious—but I do know I wouldn’t have chosen this to end the season. At least here in 2017, I know there are more episodes on the way to hopefully make up for it.

Number of “Columbo-isms”: We managed to get another perfect 6/6. Columbo’s wife is only mentioned once or twice, but we get a scene with both the car and Dog, Columbo does a fair bit of fumbling, he has two variations of “Just one more thing”, and he not only sings “This Old Man” to himself, but it shows up on the soundtrack. I wonder how many more times the show will manage to pull this off before we’re done.

Other: *During Padget’s birthday dinner, he and Brailie seem to be doing a back and forth rhyme about a camel having sex with the Sphinx. It’s not as dirty as it could be, and soldiers are known for having a bawdy sense of humor, but is this really something to be reciting in polite company? Even if all the guests were made up of soldiers and their wives, there’s still a time and a place for things like this.

*I’m a little surprised that the fact that Columbo’s served in the military himself never came up in this episode. The fact that he fought in Korea came up several times in earlier episodes, so why not now? Is that also something NBC held under copyright?

*Season wrapup: Columbo’s triumphant return to television was a little hit and miss. I liked half of the episodes, and the other half were mediocre instead of outright bad. On the bright side, all of them worked or didn’t work for different reasons, so it’s not like the crew is doing one thing consistently wrong, and Falk’s portrayal of Columbo is still in good form. We’ll just have to see if things even out a little as we start to transition into the 90’s…

Would This Hold Up in Court?: A very definite no. Not only is Columbo’s main piece of evidence pretty scanty, but he has two instances of taking things when he didn’t have a warrant. Come on, Columbo, you’re generally better than this! Or at least less obvious about it!