Day 219: Columbo, Any Old Port in a Storm

Show: Columbo

Episode Particulars: S3EP2, “Any Old Port in a Storm”, original airdate October 7^th, 1973.

 Summary: Adrian Carsini (Donald Pleasence) is a winemaker who is very passionate about his profession. When his half-brother Ric (Gary Conway) declares that he’s selling the vineyard to a more generic manufacturer in an attempt to recoup expenses, Carsini very quickly and calmly deduces that the only way to prevent that from happening is to murder him. Knocking Ric out and leaving him in the wine cellar to suffocate, Carsini spends a week in New York at a wine convention to secure his alibi, then returns home and makes it look like Ric died while scuba diving. When Columbo inevitably comes calling, Carsini isn’t overly concerned; indeed, he seems happy to discuss wine with a fellow Italian. And no, it’s not because he thinks getting Columbo drunk will keep him from getting caught.

Standalone Thoughts: In a move that proves that reviewers can be a contradictory lot, I thought this episode was better than the previous one, even though it has a few of the same flaws in common. In this case, it feels like a large chunk of the runtime is taken up with discussions about wine, and even if they relate to the case, there are times when one wonders if the writers had done a lot of research for the episode and were finding ways to show off about it at every opportunity. But for all that, it doesn’t actually feel like showing off, either from the writers or from any of the wine connoisseurs, especially Carsini himself. Maybe that’s why I’m more receptive to it; it feels more natural to the plot, instead of kind of shoehorned in like Viveca’s resort was.

It also helps that Carsini isn’t your stereotypical wine snob. Oh, he has a lot of the classic traits—wanting to produce fine wines was why he murdered his half-brother in the first place—but he doesn’t seem to look down on Columbo for not understanding wine, and seems impressed rather than condescending when Columbo takes it upon himself to learn more. Pleasence plays the role in a way that straddles the line between snobby and a pleasant guy who’s just a little obsessed with wine, and that may be what makes all the difference. You actually feel a little sorry for him at the end (though I do feel like he should have considered what his actions might lead to), which is more than you can say for pretty much all the other murderers on this show so far.

While this episode is an improvement over the first one of the season, I’d still classify it as “fine” rather than “good”. In addition to the heavy focus on wine, it also starts entering soap opera territory near the end, which feels out of place for the show, especially since there wasn’t a lot of foreshadowing for that particular development. The acting’s strong enough to make it worth watching, but I’d consider it a pleasant diversion as opposed to truly entertaining. But as always, to each their own.

Number of “Columbo-isms”: A very impressive 5/6. There’s one fairly large scene each involving the car and Mrs. Columbo, two cases of fumbling, and at least two counts of “Just one more thing”. As for the last, the remaining Columbo-ism has finally made its appearance; Columbo whistles “This Old Man” twice. Why that nursery rhyme and why it became a recurring thing, I don’t know, but I’m not going to question it. I’m just going to wait and hope that eventually we get a perfect score.

Other: *The episode does admittedly open on a cliché note, when the establishing shot of Carsini’s winery is accompanied by extremely Italian sounding music. It would have been right at home in the Godfather movies. It’s not that this is a problem, per se, but it was an extremely obvious thing to do. Whether or not you’re actively annoyed by it depends on your tolerance for tropes. Me, I was mostly fine with it, but it did make me roll my eyes just a bit.

*Man, first class on planes was elaborate back in the day. Apparently some of them had pianos in the cabin. Or is that just another Hollywood exaggeration?

*In addition to establishing “This Old Man”, the episode also reveals that Columbo has a kid. We don’t know much more than that, but it does make you wonder even more what his family life is like.

Would This Hold Up in Court?: Technically yes, because there’s going to be a full confession. But without that, almost certainly not, because what we have here is a case of both theft and a setup on Columbo’s part. It would probably be enough to get any prosecuting attorney to turn to drink, appropriately enough.